"People are afraid to merge"

*Sigh*

Hello faithful readers,

It is I, Ryan, your messiah, your diety, your god, your favorite author, your prime example of a jackass. Har har, I'm quite the comedian. Anywho. Ever have one of those days where you do your absolute best to be happy and have fun but it seems like people just don't want you to be happy and when you're not happy you realize all the bad stuff thats coming your way? I love when that happens. Honestly. I just feel so disconnected, like those old 1960's switchboards, its as though someone disconnected me from the switchboard from life and I'm laying on the operators desk, collecting dust. Each day I tell myself "cool I'm going to be part of society today", but then I realize I hate everyone... mostly... and then I don't care. I'm rambling. Which is essentially what this blog is for... but... Have you ever had a teacher tell you that you piss them off? All because you forgot to study for a test because you had a more important test to focus on? What's that one called again... oh yeah, the ACT. And the reason you forgot to study for this test was because the teacher believes that you should be responsible for printing off your own handouts off the ever wretched Blackboard.com? Oh, and this teacher is doing it in front of the entire class, showing your score (a 3/15, if you must know). Or don't you just love it when you realize it's Friday but then you remember that you have 5 make-up assignments for physics, a paper to write for Language Arts, 200 pages to read in a book (that needs to be annotated), a project that you haven't even started yet, oh yeah, and you remember the fact you have a D(66%) in Math and a D+(68%) in Physics, and that this might screw up the chances of you going to that college that you've always wanted to go to? I could very easily respond yes to all of the above. I just don't understand why school is school. I know everything I need to, yet, to be anywhere in life I have to go through at least four more years of this "schooling" to even start being whatever it is I want to? It's just effed up. Ugh whatever. I have some good thoughts brewing but I'm too angst-ridden to write about them.